Last Updated on 07/03/2021
As much as I love to travel, there are parts of it that are unbearable. Long flights, airport prices, bumping into other tourists, packing…but while we can’t travel, I find myself missing even the worst parts of a journey. So to cheer us up, here are 75 funny quotes about travel that we can all relate to.
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Funny Quotes About Travel And Life
When travel is a priority in your life, it impacts the decisions you make. Whether it is to do with budgeting, life goals or the destinations on your bucket list; travel becomes an intrinsic part of your being. Here are some great examples of the difficult life decisions travel-lovers face every day…
I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m on the road to the airport.
Is there any other road you’d prefer to be on at some unsociable hour in the morning, caffeine-deprived and mildly panicking that you’ve forgotten something essential while battling the fear that you’re going to miss your flight that leaves in 6 hours?
I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.
Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once.”
It’s a constant battle. YOLO usually wins…
Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!
Even I’m jealous of the life my Instagram account has. I can guarantee that 98% of my life is significantly less interesting than Instagram makes it appear!
You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.
I apply this logic. I don’t think I’ve ever returned from a holiday without already having the next one booked. It is definitely the only way to overcome the holiday blues!
You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.
Vacation calories don’t count. Right?
There is only one answer to this question…
If at some point you don’t ask yourself ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ then you’re not doing it right.Roland Gau
I definitely have at least one of these moments per trip. Normally one per day, per trip! Although those moments do make for the best stories when you get home!
I want to live in a world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.
Could there be a more intense workout? This world is my dream!
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.
The more I read this the more I genuinely think this is a good idea! I might start to stock up for my colleagues…
Birds literally just eat, travel and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.The Captain
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.Mark Twain
The Hannah who gets on a plane is a very different Hannah to the one who gets off an 8-hour long haul flight, hungry, jet-lagged and somewhat dishevelled!
The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one-way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.American Nomad
We all have those days, don’t we? Where you just want to hop on a plane and leave the real world behind and escape to somewhere exotic? Preferable with no phone signal…
It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
Well, I wouldn’t want to appear rude.
I only travel so I don’t run out of dinner party conversation.
I’m convinced that all of my family, friends and colleagues are sick to death of hearing my travel stories over and over again!
Will work for travel.
I would genuinely accept payment in airmiles…
If you think adventures are dangerous, try routine; it’s lethal!Paulo Coelho
He didn’t really like travel, of course. He liked the idea of travel, and the memory of travel, but not travel itself.Julian Barnes
It is true that the least glamourous part of travel is normally the travel itself. Although we somehow forget that in anticipation of a journey, or when looking back on one. There is nothing like the moment of realisation 1 hour into a long haul journey that you don’t actually like the ‘travel’ part.
We all know that a vacation is the best cure for any ailment. While we wait for the medical field to catch up with this insight, here are some quotes that remind us why vacations are the best medication.
I Googled my symptoms. Turns out I just need a vacation.
We’ve all been there!
I need a vacation that long I forget my passwords.
Isn’t this the dream?
I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.Henny Youngman
I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!
This would suit me perfectly!
I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.
If this was the case I’d be making so many claims! Travel is my favourite medicine.
Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.
This is my therapy. There is nothing quite like taking a road trip with a carefully constructed playlist!
I’ve got 99 problems but I’m on vacation and I am ignoring them all!
Funny Quotes About Journeys
Journeys are more than just a means of getting to your destination. They are the first, exciting leg on your route and form an important part of your adventure. Here are some quotes that remind us why we both love and loathe the journey.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less travelled for a reason.Jerry Seinfeld
Here’s looking at you, Pearblossom Highway, California!
The saying ‘Getting there is half of the fun’ became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines.Henry Tilman
In my opinion, there is nothing fun about being cramped in a flying tin can for hours on end! It’s a good job the destination is always worth the journey!
Sometimes the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn’t mean to take.Angela N. Blout
I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal!Jarod Kintz
If only life worked this way! I’d keep circling the world for eternity.
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.John Steinbeck
After years of practice, I have resigned myself to that fact that journeys will never go as planned, planes will never depart on time and hiring a car will always take at least 16 times longer than you anticipate. Having come to this realisation, journeys are much more bearable now I just roll with them and expect the unexpected.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip.
How is it that no matter how fresh-faced and prepared you are for a passport photo, it still always comes out looking like you haven’t slept for a decade?
Funny Quotes About Flights
I have such a love-hate relationship with flying. I hate the actual ‘flying’ part of flying, but I love the opportunity it gives me to visit so many amazing destinations. Here are some quotes that really capture the mix of emotions that come with flying.
A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is?
I’m yet to encounter a question that cannot be answered by a plane ticket.
Jet lag is for amateurs.
Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.Jia Tolentino
There is something about being trapped on a plane, not knowing when you’re next going to be fed that means you will eat everything that is presented to you, no matter how awful it might be!
There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.Orson Welles
I spend the entire flight swinging between these two emotions…
I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.
If only this was a daily decision!
You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.Paul Theroux
I’ll take any positives I can from a flight, I’m just grateful to get there in one piece!
Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.
If you see I’m asleep when you’re serving snacks & drinks, please wake my ass up. Sincerely, I want my money’s worth.
The FOMO is so real on a flight! Just as I start to doze, I’ll jolt awake in case I’m missing a soft drink and pretzels.
Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever.
We’re all guilty of this aren’t we? We just REALLY want to get off that plane!
That moment when boarding is complete and the seat next to you is EMPTY!
This is better than winning the lottery.
Funny Quotes About Airports
No matter how much you travel, no one loves an airport. They exist in this weird, time-free zone where no one knows what day it is, time it is and sometimes what country it is. Here are some quotes that sum up the strange world of airports.
The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost $17.Alyssa Limperis
Literally anything goes in an airport.
For me, being ‘chill’ is getting to the airport three hours before take-off so I can sit in a restaurant directly across from my gate and be anxious about missing my flight from there.Alli Brown
I’m this person! The one who is queuing before check-in has even opened in case it somehow takes me 4 hours to get through the airport and I miss my flight.
Never get behind old people in airport security. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left.George Clooney (Up In The Air)
How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?George Roberts
That one case they reserve specifically to put onto the carousel to make you think the rest of the cases are coming. But no, you spend the next 20 minutes watching that lone case go round, and round, and round…
Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.Ashley Fern
Anyone else ever blown the vacation budget before even leaving the airport?
Funny Quotes About Packing
Is packing something anyone is ‘good’ at? No matter how many packing hacks you implement, you’re still going to end up with an additional month’s worth or outfits ‘just in case.’ Here are some quotes that remind us we’re not alone in our packing woes!
Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.
Like we need another excuse to take so much more stuff than we need!
Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.
We’ve all been there. And I’ll continue to do this for the rest of my life, I’ve already accepted the fact.
My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.Adam Rippon
When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.Susan Heller
I’m including this simply because I think it is probably the best travel advice I’ve ever received. Despite this, I’ll still take too many clothes and not enough money!
Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.
As above ^^^
I haven’t worn these pants since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation, Just in case.
Does anyone else have a ‘holiday clothes’ section in their wardrobe? And yet always wear the same 3 t-shirts every trip?
Funny Quotes About Tourists
Why is it, that as a tourist, there is nothing more frustrating at your destination, than other tourists? Here are some quotes about the tourist dynamic that we’ve all encountered.
The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes ‘sight-seeing.’Daniel J. Boorstin
We’ve all seen this differentiation on trips! I strive to be a traveler, but there are some destinations where there is something very ‘touristy’ that you just really want to see. In my opinion, the best trips are a balance of the two.
There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.Stephen Colbert
When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to disassemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!Dane Cook
I’m definitely this person. I’ll walk around destinations with my DSLR but the second someone hands me a phone to take a photo I look at it like I’ve never seen one before in my life!
People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.Dagobert D. Runes
It’s funny isn’t it how we’ll revel in the culture of another country, but in our own, we’ll walk around with our eyes down ignoring what we pass by. I have made a conscious effort to soak up everything I walk by in the UK as much as I do abroad and see it all through the eyes of a tourist.
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.Russell Baker
Has this ever happened to you? You’re enjoying your vacation, minding your own business then bam! You’re hijacked by another tourist who suddenly thinks you’re best friends and they can invite themselves along on your day trips.
Travel makes a wise man better, and a fool worse.Thomas Fuller
Funny Quotes About Road Trips
A road trip is such a unique travel experience. As a result, they come with their own unique set of highlights and problems that make them memorable. Here are some quotes about the highs and lows of road trips.
Carcolepsy (n.) a condition where a passenger falls asleep as soon as the car starts moving.
I absolutely suffer from this. I also don’t drive so every trip turns into a nap for me!
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.George Carlin
You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense, and whiskey.Bill Murray
Being on the road means you can literally encounter anything and it takes some grit to face the unexpected.
Funny Quotes About Travel And Love
Travel is one of my great passions, but travel is full of unexpected moments that can be even more challenging due to differences in language and cultures. There is no greater test of love than travelling with a partner. Here are some quotes about the highs and lows of travelling with the love of your life.
Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.Desus Nice
What would you even do in this scenario??
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equalling a hundred miles.Roseanne Barr
Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.’Lisa St Aubin de Teran
I really love this simile. Every trip feels like a little fling with a destination that you absolutely stay and fall in love with but you need to return to your obligations at home. Each vacation has its own love story.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure.
Now that’s true love!
Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.
Funny Quotes About Travel And Family
Any interaction with family is normally the set up for some entertaining encounter. But when you throw travel into the mix, you’re bound to make some memories that feature a lot of laughs. It’s not always plain sailing though, here are some quotes that remind us why family are both the best and worst people to travel with.
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.Mark Twain
There is no truer test of friendship than going on vacation together.
My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?
My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.Jared Freid
I’m convinced there is some secret channel my parents have a subscription to that specifically reports all of the bad news in my upcoming travel destinations!
My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my holidays.
Those were the days, huh?
Funny Quotes About Travel Destinations
The wonderful thing about experiencing new destinations is being able to lose yourself in the culture of the place. Sometimes, however, that cultural difference can make for some amusing experiences! Here are some quotes that brilliantly capture that cross-culture miscommunication and challenge.
I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me, they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.Wallis Simpson
I’m really pleased to learn I’m not the only person who finds a trip to the supermarket in the US an essential experience. I find the whole thing fascinating! The products, the people, the process, the whole experience is like visiting a theme park!
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last thirty years, many foreign people still speak foreign languages.Dave Barry
There are three trips you take to India: the one you think you’re going to have – that you plan for; the one you actually have; and the one you live through once you go back home.Erin Reese
I haven’t visited India before, but having read posts from people who have, this quote seems to resonate. I hope I’ll have the opportunity to experience it one day!
Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.Dave Barry
There is always that mild panic around toilet etiquette when visiting other countries. We’ve all been somewhere where the gender of the bathrooms is not particularly clear and we’ve just had to hope for the best!
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.Bob Hope
Funny Quotes About Travel
So these are our top 75 funny quotes about travel. We hope you’ve enjoyed them and they’ve brought a smile to your face. Let us know which one is your favourite in the comments!